Who Are the Wicked Pickles?

We are the Wicked Pickles. We live in the village of Picklesburg in the land of Pickledom on the corner of Bread Avenue and Butter Boulevard.

We are unique in the village of Picklesburg. We are an eclectic/un-schooling family. I Gerkin, fulfill my life dream by continuing to employ the oldest profession in the world. Yes kids, I am a mom. (tricked ya, didn't I?) Not just any mom, but a stay at home/homeschooling mom and that alone makes me unique to Picklesburg. Some might say that makes me stick out like a sore thumb.

But wait! There’s more to our household that gives us a distinction in the village. Our yard is kid friendly. We actually have a jungle gym, bikes in the yard and toys strewn about, it could be considered green if it weren’t for the perfectly manicured lawns all around us. We reside in our pickle barrel, which is partly green and is known as “the pickle barrel where those homeschoolers live”. Our diningroom table is usually covered in books and other scholarly looking activities requiring us to all fit at the kitchen table for meals and our library cards are always maxed. We have wind chimes hanging out the side door that no longer chime. We keep our spare hangers in the garage. It is February 3 and my Happy Thanksgiving sign is still hanging on the porch. We have been known to “bathe” the kids in the front yard with a hose, soap and shampoo in lieu of a formal bath.

There’s all that plus much more! I use a hanging shoe rack to organize my bathroom toiletries. We don’t eat meat at every meal or even everyday (much to the groans of Dill who is one picky pickle) and try to eat organic as much as we can (palate). We tend the pickle patch every summer and put up our harvest for fresh eating all winter long. We let the picklets have their own opinion AND respect it. We believe in a greater spirit, but don't follow the norm. We are very spiritual. We don’t have cable or satellite. We actually get our news from the newspaper. Our egg lady delivers our eggs to us for 50¢ a dozen! Cool does a majority of the grocery shopping for me on his way home from work. We have two refrigerators in our kitchen. I forgot about the oranges and clementines on the porch causing the picklets to eat frozen fruit for going on a week now. We also have what we consider yard art. (Let’s just say we will always remember the day Cool almost burned the garage down!)

We put family first, money second, outside influences last. Time spent learning and playing together is more valuable than any income I could bring home from working an outside job. We study what we want, when we want. We all go to Cool’s second job and help him work. We go to movies as a family, travel as a family and eat as a family. We cheer each other on. We cry together. We are each other’s best friends. We are each other’s worst enemies. We are the Wicked Pickles: Cool: father, husband, provider best friend to Gerkin (that’s me): mother, wife, homeschool teacher, and best friend to Cool. We are parents to the Picklets. Chip: eldest son, teenager, writer/artist, Dill: middling son, Power Ranger and Pokemon Trainer and last but not least Sweet: little sister, believer in faeries and magic and whiner extraordinaire!

Are we perfect? Hell no! We just manage to have the right combination of vinegar and sugar to make the brine we call life.

© Wicked Pickles-Homefront Lines 2007
(originally posted Feb 2007 on old blog)