Thursday, March 17, 2011

Amazing, Brilliant...Yeah

I had an amazingly brilliant moment this morning and I am still paying for it. The background to this story is important. Without the proper background information the story just wouldn't be what it should be, so let me start with that.

It started this morning after dropping Cool off at work. I knew we had to come to Sokol to clean and thought picking something quick up for breakfast was my best bet. I stopped at Panera to get a bagel pack. Nothing like 13 bagels and cream cheese to start the morning off right. I parked, grabbed my purse and went into the store. I looked in the entry way and immediately turned around. There was no way I was going to be the last of 12 people in line for bagels. My grandpa stood in line for 4 hours in 1941 and all he got was beans. I wasn't following down that same path. I have learned from his mistakes.

So, I went to my nemesis, Walmart. I hate Walmart. I only go there when no other store is open. It was only 7:30. I had no choice. I parked, grabbed my purse and headed into the super store. I grabbed a buggy and went to look at day-old bread, hoping for bagels. No day-old. So, I went to the cream cheese and picked up some honey walnut. Then I started looking at bagels. Did you know that most of the brands have high fructose corn syrup in them. Why? That makes absolutely no sense to me. When I make bagels I don't put corn syrup in them. Anyway, I found a brand with no hfcs and picked three different kinds. Not that it matters but I got french toast, apple cinnamon and everything. I also picked up another cream cheese...this time chive.

I went up to the front to check out and noticed that strawberries were on sale for $1.88/lb. Thinking fruit and bagels sounded good, I threw (set gently) two pounds in the buggy. I went to the self check out, ran my groceries through, paid and went back to the car. I was quite happy with myself for choosing not to stand in line. I got 18 bagels, two cream cheese tubs and 2 lbs of strawberries for less than a bagel pack would have cost me.

After buckling up and telling the picklets my money saving news, we went to the gas station. Dill was craving a cappuccino. Dill and Chip went in and got hot chocolate and cappuccino for all of us. We then made our way to Sokol. I figured we would eat a quick breakfast of bagels and strawberries and get to work cleaning.

I came in, my hands full. Dill came in, his hands full. Sweet came in carrying her hot chocolate. Chip came in carrying his hot chocolate and an empty coffee cup. This is where it all started wrong. This is the course of events as I remember them.

Chip said to Sweet, "How come you didn't bring the bagels in?"
Sweet said to Chip, "How come you didn't?"
Chip said to Sweet, while flailing his hands, "My hands are kind of full Sweet!"
Sweet said to Chip, "You still couldn't have gotten them. Go back out and get them."
Chip said to Sweet, "You."

Cutting off the inevitable, "no you", that was coming I set something on the desk, rather hard like, and said..er yelled.."OMG! I'll just get them!"

That is when it happened. I stomped around the desk and tables and set off for the car. I was going to show them just how simple getting a bag of bagels and cream cheese actually is.

The next thing I knew I was rolling in the middle of the parking lot. I stood up, all cool like, giving the impression that I meant to do that. That's when the pain set it. My finger, knees and back were throbbing.

I looked down at my already swollen finger to see that a chunk out of the side of my finger was gone and that blood was dripping (gushing?). I went back inside, sat down and trying very hard not to...started crying. More out of embarrassment than anything.

As I sat there, thinking to myself, 'Is it really that hard to get bagels and cream cheese in from the car?' I saw out of the corner of my eye Chip coming inside carrying the Walmart bag. Hmmm...

Ok, so maybe I am NOT amazing or brilliant. And the background to the story isn't all that important either, just makes it a tad more interesting. And no matter how I try, I can't blame this on Wal-Mart. And goodness knows I tried.

So why did I feel the need to chronicle this moment? That is a good question since I don't come off looking so good in it. After careful consideration I think I have come up with the answers.

Number 1, so I can print it off and send it to the kids each Mother and Father's day with the simple message, "You reap what you sow. Love, Mom"
Number 2, so I have written proof that went I told Cool what happened his first question was, "What pants were you wearing?" Yes, he was more worried about my new jeans than my well being ladies and gents. Just a small glimpse into the life of this pickle wife.
And Number 3, to remind myself that getting mad at the picklets and stomping off to "show them" is not the answer. It doesn't teach them anything productive and ends up making me look bad in the long run.

That's my story boys and girls. And I'm sticking to it.

By the way, according to spell check, I mis-spelled bagel 13 times. Fitting, huh?

1 comment:

Blossom said...

oh. my. what a morning huh? hope your doing better ;)